because, apparently, I'm the only one in my house who can figure out how to use the dishwasher, washing machine, dryer, clothes hangers, garbage disposal, toilet brush, broom, telephone, can manage the basic function of pick up toy - put toy away, who isn't stumped by the prospect of making a bed or a sandwich, knows that kids need breakfast, knows that Mom needs 5 fucking minutes to piss in peace, realizes that if there's something defrosting in the fridge and it's in a casserole dish - most likely it's for tomorrow's dinner and not for your late night munchies and, for the love of Elvis and Apple Butter, I damned well know how to flush.
Mensa, here I come.
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