What we're all thinking ...

Check this out - not for kiddies, though.

Fair warning: it's a video and will take time to load if you don't have high speed internet. Worth it, though, iffin's you have the time to load it.

Big Boy Bike

Duck got a new big boy bike a couple of weeks ago. It is a little too big for him yet, but he picked it out and will grow into it. It's such a trip to watch him work the handbrakes. He does a great job and I'm so proud of him!

My guys

This was taken Mother's Day morning before B took the boys away to let me do my thing.

Duck had found the hat the day before and I LOVE it. It's too small for him, but he still wears it. I look at this kid and I say, "Man, he's cool. I want to be his friend."

Stealth is just Stealth. He has some sort of magical powers or something. He behaves in ways that would make most folks want to put him out on the curb on garbage day yet everyone loves him and thinks he's the greatest. I guess, with those skills, he is. 

Got One!

We have frogs and toads in our backyard. In the past few years, we've seen some small ones now and then, but this year, we've really had a lot of them and they are big. The boys love to run around the yard trying to get them, trying to chase them, trying to catch them.

Friday, Stealth got one. A big one. He, Duck, and their 3 girlfriends kidhandled this frog until he finally escaped and hopped for cover.

The biggest delight, however, was the way the frog kept peeing on the kids over and over. For some reason, they really thought that was hysterical.

Kids are strange. 

Capt. Nemo-Dorothy Kohl, RIP

We got Nemo-Dorothy on Duck's 4th birthday. Next week Duck will be 6.  It was their first pet (they don't rememeber the dogs we had when they were babies.)  2 years for a goldfish is pretty good, I guess.  Stealth found him dead last night and he was just in total disbelief.  This is also their first experience of death so it was a biggie.  It took lots of explaining that Nemo wouldn't be swimming anymore and that whole discussion.  Strealth cried for an hour.  We took him to a lake near by our house (it's in walking distance but we drove) and said a few words and B put him in the lake because, as Duck says,  "Fish don't live in the ground, Mom."

I cannot believe how emotional both B and I got over this fish!  It was just so intense seeing our children process the concept of death and the loss of their pet. Stealth said, "I'm sad and crying because Nemo is dead and I loved him forever and I wanted to keep loving him forever."  Duck would shrug his shoulders and say, "Fish don't live forever - sometimes they just die" like a big tough boy and then his face would squish up and he'd start crying and he'd sob, "I'm so sad that Nemo is dead!"

They both want to go first thing this morning and get a new pet fish.  Or two.  Or maybe four.

I dunno.  I think I'm in mourning.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

Just downloading some Bowie for Erzulie and couldn't help myself.

 

So the new template.  I needed something new and I'm sure I'll change this a thousand times before I'm settled.  Frankly, I want my own template -something with disco balls and fuchsia feathers and motorcycles.  No such luck?  How about Mimosas and pink toenails?  A mountain with folks at the base hurling pickles at Val Kilmer who sits omnipotently on top? 

 

Or not.

 

There's all kinds of things I'm excited about and I promise that none of you are interested in any of them.  Oh, don't worry, I'm going to post about them anyway, but you won't care about them - I'm just saying.

 

Our refrigerator.  I hated that bastard for the last year or more.  It just sat there all smugly saying things like, "You know, I'm only 5 years old.  Just old enough to screw with you folks, but not old enough to have me replaced.  Heh Heh Heh, I guess I got you, suckers."  Oh sure, on the outside he looked all innocent and agreeable enough. On the outside.  Open him up, however, and you entered the 7th circle of appliance hell.  Although we do not have an ice maker hooked up to it, it was *leaking water* from the top.  Oh yes, water leaked down from the top, ran down the back of the fridge, into the crispers (a big bitch for me since I'm shelling out $3 per handful of organic salad goodies that we eat by the bushel,) and eventually onto our floor where it undoubtedly was destroying our floors and sub floors.  A Whole Freaking Year, folks.  Yes, yes, we could have called a repairman.  Yes yes, I could have called a repair man.  But see, I'm married to a guy who can fix anything, anything at all, if he tries hard enough.  The trick is that he has to be motivated to do something about it.  It took a full year.  A FULL FREAKING YEAR.  But yesterday, we took everything out of the damned beast.  We found the clog in the drain.  We took off panel after panel.  We flushed tubes and pipes and probably someone's colon (in the chaos, things got a little confusing.)  We cleaned every square inch of that thing.   We threw away enough food to feed a starving family in a third world country.  But ladies and gentlemen, let me make an announcement:

 

We kicked that refrigerator's ass.

 

It's working like a charm and I love my newly humbled icebox.  There's no water leaking.  It's clean enough I would eat off it (Okay, maybe I would have done that anyway ...)  I look at my Whirlpool and it says to me, "Come here, Mamakohl, I have a goodie for you ..." and it does.  And I partake in the next thing I'm excited about:

 

Captain Morgan's Parrot Bay Passion Fruit Rum with Dole Orange, Peach, Mango Juice.  I used to be a big drinker.  For years, I would amaze people at my ability to put it away.  Then I went a long time without drinking anything at all.  Now, occasionally, I delight in a little imbibement.  This is my new favorite grown up treat.  It's delightful for Spring / Summer and goes best with girlfriends.  The only downside is that you have to have a whole lotta juice 'cause the kids are going to see you drinking something that looks like something they would be drinking and you have to give them something of their own so they don't drink yours.  Enter frozen OJ concentrate - it's living in my newly compliant freezer.  This brings me to another exciting thing ---

 

JenPen is officially out of teaching for the summer.  I've written about how much I love summers with her and her family.  It's just too good to be true, most times.  The fiesta starts tomorrow morning at 9:30 at my house.  Mimosas for the grownups, sandboxes for the little ones.  I love girlfriends.  And another exciting point -

 

DDFF and I owe ourselves some serious sushi.  And maybe a cocktail or two, certainly tea and Main Squeeze.  My right hand gal has worked her tush off these last few weeks and June is only gonna get more crazy for her.  She'll be without her children for a whole month while she catches baby after baby, but I'm hoping she'll have time to let her mojo shine on her girlie friends (meaning ME.)

 

Speaking of kidlets, my MIL has requested we start working towards week long visits, meaning she wants to eventually keep my children for an entire week.  Um, OKAY!  Now B is not so thrilled about this.  He is not with them 24/7 and so he misses them terribly when they're gone for even a night.  Yeah, it's sweet and all, but COME ON.  Mama needs to get her groove on and let me tell you, my groove is seriously impaired with two whining children attached to me demanding that I sing the "BunnyHop" yet again.

 

Oh man, speaking of singing songs, Duck can now sing all the lyrics to Jimmy Buffet's Cheeseburger in Paradise.  Oh yeah, sometimes he goofs a word or two, but he's got the chant down cold.  "I like mine with lettuce and tomato, Heinz 57 and French fried potatoes, big kosher pickle and a cold draft beer, good god almighty which way do I steer??"   He screams this at the top of his lungs while riding his bike down the hill, long hair trailing behind him.  Holy smokes, I love that kid.

 

Folks, I'm outta here.  Things are going to be busy this summer, what with all the laziness to be done and all.  I'm sure I'll still be posting, but I'll bet you won't be interested in any of it.  Just like you weren't interested in any of this drivel, either.

 

Time may change me, but I can't change time.

 

SO cool ...

Check this out - Photo Zoomer

 

Fair warning -it might take a bit to load and you might have install Shockwave, but I just spent a good 15 minutes with Duck at this site.  Listening to Erzulie sing from her portable dock (our closet boy, Jill,) and just diving deeper and deeper into these photos. 

 

It's almost like a meditation.

Amazing things are afoot at the Circle K, Ted.

This could turn into a long post, but I'm realizing that I'm not prepared to write about it in full yet, so I'm just going to regurgitate what it is that I feel I can say.

 

Something big is afoot at the Circle K, Ted.  (If you email me the movie reference, I'll give you a gold star!!)

I am the Circle K.

 

I go through these phases where everything is all a bunch of shit and then for a few months everything is golden.  While this sounds like bi-polarism, I think it's more likely a labor of myself.  Meaning, when a woman pushes a child out into the world, the baby moves down a bunch and then goes back up a little - 2 steps forward, 1 step back.  Eventually, a new person emerges after a lot of work and a lot of back and forth.  Tis the same with myself.

 

I've realized a few things in the last few days:

1. I don't have to good at everything.  I can try things (or not) just for the fun and experience of it - I don't have to make everything an endeavor.
2. It's okay for me to only do one thing well a day.  For example, Saturday morning, I held down a deck chair really well.  Yesterday, I did laundry to the best of my ability, today I'm spinning well in the morning and will hang out with my best friend this afternoon the very best way I can.  For everything else that comes up, good enough is good enough.
3. I don't have to be incredibly productive every day of my life.
4. It's likely that I need to change my definition of "productive."
5. Hanging out with my kids *is* doing something.

Things are moving, things are changing, things are shifting.  I'm shedding the scales of unwanted thinking and opening up to the beautiful plumage of acceptance.

 

Now way?  Way!

Happy Birthday!

DDFF is up bright and early today to attend the scheduled birth of a little girl!  Congratulations A & B, and Happy Happy Birthday Baby H!!

 

 

The Koala and the Little Lizard

 
A koala is sitting up a gumtree smoking a joint when a little lizard walks past and looks up and says "Hey Koala ! what are you doing?"

 
 
The koala says: "Smoking a joint, come up and have some." 
 
So the little lizard climbs up and sits next to the koala and they have a few joints. 
 
After a while the little lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river. 
 
But the little lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river. 
 
A crocodile sees this and swims over to the little lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the little lizard: "What's the matter with you?" 
 
The little lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink. 
 
The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the rain forest, finds the tree where the koala is sitting finishing a joint, and he looks up and says "Hey you!" 
 
 
So the koala looks down at him and says  
 
"Fucccccccccck dude.......how much water did you drink?!!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks, JMB, I needed that one.

Cause for celebration

Today my husband got an incredibly well deserved, largely overdue, *huge* promotion.  Along with that comes more stress, more work, more responsibility.  Also more perks, more vacation and sick time, more respect, more clout, and yes, more money.  Significantly more money.  Okay, maybe a lot more money.

 

This has been a long time coming.  It isn't without some angst - B had to say goodbye to a man who used to be one of his best friends.  That friendship will never be rekindled.  There will be the pains of transitions, the confusion of new roles, but it will all be in passing.  When the dust settles, I'm certain we'll be on top of the heap.

 

I'm so proud of him.

 

Cheers!

My Mother's Day Gift

It's the Big one! I've wanted a KitchenAid mixer since I was 19 years old, I have lusted after my girlfriends' KitchenAids. I figured someday ...

This morning started out like most Mother's Days, me bawling like an infant, sobbing because my kids deserve so much more than I can ever give them, me wishing I could be more, do more, give more. B gave me coffee, told me to go downstairs and check in with the Brains. When I asked if I could come get more coffee, he told me to wait a minute and then come up. I walked up the stairs and saw on the counter my KitchenAid with bows all over it! AND I get to pick out another accessory to go along with it!

Check out the specs!

The best part, however, was the card. Handmade by B out of red mat board with a heart engraved in it, signed by both of my children, and with the following message:

We Thank You.
Thank you for everything that you do.
Thank you for everyone that you are.
Thank you for everything that you believe.
You are the glue that holds our family together.
You are truly beautiful, turly loved, and most importantly,

You are truly appreciated.
Love Always,
B

If there's a luckier woman on this planet, I've never met her.
My mixing bowl runneth over.

Whadda Guy

Somewhere along the line, Karma took notice of me.  I've paid my dues for a lot of my past transgressions, but I've also reaped the rewards of some of my nicer moments.  Nice thing to have, really, this Karma.  It's always made more sense to me than this Heaven and Hell crap.  But I wonder, when things go my way, what caused it?  Was it when I pulled the "nobody" kid aside at youth group, you know, the one who always smelled like pee, and told her what we were playing and let her have my turn?  Was it the time that I cancelled my daily plans and took on a 10 week old child for the day so his young, single mother could go to work to pay the bills?  Was it the time that I discovered that tequila and Mountain Dew actually go quite well together and thus created a new, affordable taste sensation for my fellow broke college friends?

 

I dunno.  I must have done something amazing, however, to have earned my husband.

 

I give B a lot of crap.  I do.  He's a man, he lives in my house, he makes a mess = he's annoying.  But, really, it's not that big of a deal.  He's a gem, a pure gem, and I love him. In the last week, my husband has:

 

Done his own laundry and some of mine, too.

Called me at least 4 times from work to say he loves me

Entertained the kids for 2 hours while I hogged the bathroom.

Brought me bubbles for the bath, tea to drink, and a cloth for my forehead as I soaked in the tub and hogged the bathroom for 2 hours.

Bought me my favorite beer twice, even though he cannot / does not drink anymore and he misses it sometimes.

Jumped so far out of his comfort zone for me - and even allowed it to be photographed.

Made me dinner.

Brought me flowers.

Did the kid pick up / drop off deal so I could sit on my butt and watch a cheesy Lifetime movie.

Arranged for me to have Mother's Day off.  And I mean OFF.  No mothering duties required.  Period.

Then asked me what I wanted for Mother's Day and hinted at a KitchenAid (yeah, we've been here before, but you never know ...)

Offered to take my Mom her Mother's Day gift so I wouldn't even have to think about that.

Told me I'm sexy.

Showed me he thinks so.

Saw I was having a bad day and asked me, "Honey, do you need to go out tonight?  I've got some cash you can have, so don't tell me money is tight."

 

And guess what?  That's all average stuff.  I could expect and receive any or all of that on any given day.

 

A gem, I tell you.  A Gem.

 

Hmm.  Maybe this is Karma paying me back from the night I saved a whole bus of nuns from plummeting down a cliff and being eating alive by fire spewing, nun eating beavers.

 

Or maybe not.

 

what comfort zone?

Every once in a while, you have to break out of your zone and do something totally unnerving.  Complacency would be the death of me.

 

Yesterday was all about getting out of that comfort zone - or, maybe, it was all about finding a new one?

 

Either way.
 

A Meaningful Friend

Yesterday an amazing man lost his father. 

Yesterday an amazing woman lost her soon-to-be father in-law.
The Dalai Lama says, "Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend - or a meaningful day."

He was meaningful and he will be missed.

 

If you can spare it, please send some healing thoughts and hope to my friends in California.
 

Outta my mind

I'm having a photo session with a professional photographer in a few hours.  B will be with me.  Our children will not.  We've always been unconventional, B and I.  We do things a little differently than most, take bigger or more bizarre risks than most, we find art and beauty in things that some folks would find bawdy or absurd.

 

This will be no different.  But I'm so glad to be doing it.

Oh Maude

Okay everyone.  Go pee.  Right Now.  I'll wait.

 

la di dah, la la la.  hmmm. 

 

Great, you're back.

Now, prepare yourself to watch The Evolution of Dance

 

Don't lie, you've done *all* of those.

3 more weeks

Spent the day with JenPen and her family. GAWD I love them. LOVE THEM. They are the only reason I would *ever* consider moving 35 miles south of here to the conservative capitol of our state.

3 more weeks and she's done with teaching for the summer.
3 more weeks until dual family camping trips.
3 more weeks until long lazy days at Stephen's lake.
3 more weeks until tall icy rum drinks.

I love JenPen. I love her children. I love her husband. She loves my children. She loves my husband. It's a family reunion that lasts all summer, every summer.

3 more weeks.

I think I can make it.

goodies

I've forgotten to mention a few lovely things that has happened as of late, so just throwing them out there randomly ...

 

JenPen is nearly done teaching for the summer.  Nothing has made me happier.  Sincerely, I've been holding on to this thought for a few months now and it's almost here!!!  Let the fiesta begin!

 

The MP3 challenge is da bomb.  Jill and I have yet to make it to Zanzibar, although we thought this was going to be the week.  Alas, no trip, but I do now have Wicked Game and Love is Strong on Erzulie which is like heroin for my libido.  Awesome!

 

Sandie gave me an awesome birthday present last night - sushi band-aids and a sushi air freshener for my car!  I know, can you believe it?  And no, it doesn't smell like sushi, but man, I dig it the most.

 

I finally made and sold a laptop / messenger bag.  I've been asked several times by several different people but never really wanted to make the commitment.  Having done so now, however, I can see that it is most likely a profitable venture.  So you want one?  Email me.

 

My kids got up this morning, but I don't know when.  B and I woke up at 7:30 and realized they were not in their beds.  They had gotten up "when it was neither dark nor light, Mom" and were playing in the basement.  What good boys!  They didn't do anything they weren't supposed to and they were happy as clams!  Might I finally get some sleep?  Stay tuned.

 

We had a great visit at a dairy farm with our homeschooling group.  Oh my Elvis, it was so much fun!!!  Kids got to milk cows, love on baby cows, and got free ice cream.  I'm telling you, it was a hoot.  DDFF and her crew also went along and I have to say, DDFF, I love love love doing field trips together.  I'll post some pics soon, but if you want to see the best one, check out her blog and gaze upon the delight that is her Filbert.

 

Did you know that I love Spring? I LOVE IT.  And I'll be damned, it seems like we're actually getting a Spring season this year.  Who knew?

 

I think B is getting a motorcycle.  Anyone who knows me knows how much I'm gonna LOVE LOVE LOVE that.  Wahoo!

 

I just forgot - I made chocolate pudding! 

Saying Goodbye

Last night, S and I went out for our last happy hour before she leaves and gives her darling girls adorable kiwi accents. Yep, the countdown to New Zealand has begun.

We had so. much. fun.

I'm going to miss you like crazy cakes, S. I'm so proud of what you and your family are doing for yourselves. It's going to be amazing.

I promise to tell you what happens on the 29th. I promise to always bring my brain. I promise to stop spilling pints.

Namaste, Sandie. In the deepest meaning of the word, Namaste. 

Permission to steal your heart, Matey!

My sister has been bitten by the photography bug. Here's one of her first practice shots of Duck (photo has been edited by my cousin's wife, Melissa.)

Stealth's party

The forecast called for rain all day so I reluctantly called Stealth's friends and told them that we'd have to reschedule - no point in a fishing party if it's going to rain, right? But we decided to have a family get together anyhow.

Little did I know that there would be a few brief showers and then the sun would come pouring through the clouds! What a great day!

Click the pictures to enlarge.