Boys and Birth

We have always been very open with our kids about where babies come from, how they are made, and how they are born.  We're very open about our bodies and they know the real names for things.  I suppose it's part of growing up in the house with a doula.  I know it's not typical to have discussions about sperm and egg at the dinner table with a 5 year old, but it happens all the time at our house.

I got a package in the mail from a former client of mine.  It was a dvd with the video of her youngest daughter's birth - by c-section.  My business partner had been the one to attend the birth and was allowed in with a video camera to record the surgery (this is unheard of - she and I usually go in the OR for the surgery, but to be allowed to film it is just unbelievable!)  The video is actually taken from right beside the head surgeon - so you see the whole thing.  Very, very cool, very graphic, but totally respectful.

So I'm watching it in my office and Duck saw it and said, "hey mom, what is that?"  To which I started to explain to him that it was a cesarean birth and it was the way he was born.  So he asked if he could watch.  I let him climb onto my lap and we watched the whole thing.  He was amazed that he came out of my stomach instead of my vagina -- he is well aware that he was born via cesarean, but he couldn't picture what that must have been like.  So he saw it and it was as if his face slowly changed, softened in a way.  Not like it was ever hard before, but after seeing it, he just looked kind of, well, more settled, soft, more at peace. 

So Stealth was watching and then he wanted to see how he was born (this is the kid who asks me every day, "Mom, is this the day I get to see a real baby really come out??" heh!)  So, since we had a professional photographer at the birth, I pulled out the cd of the photos and we went through all 200 of them, one by one, including the very detailed and graphic photos of crowning, the head out with nuchal cord, the placenta, etc. 

The boys loved it.  They smiled and said, "oh Mom, you sure are pushing so hard to get that baby out!"  They smiled at the pictures of Stealth's little head starting to emerge and cheered as they saw the photo of him being brought to my chest. 

The experience with the boys today really warmed my heart, really made me feel like there was a better understanding about the ways they were each born, some questions answered, and it felt sooooooo wonderful to see my two young sons look upon childbirth as a beautiful, natural, wonderful thing ... not something gross or painful or something to be hidden or spoken about in code or whatever.

I don't know, I'm rambling now, and I'm not sure that any of this makes sense to anyone.   It just ... well, I have to say, I don't think I'll ever ever forget this experience today.