It's recently come to attention that James Frey, author of A Million Little Pieces, may have lied. His book was picked by Oprah as a selection for her book club and subsequently, the book went to the top of the charts.
In case you're not familiar, A Million Little Pieces is supposed to be a non-fiction truthful story about an alcoholic and drug addict's road to recovery. The Smoking Gun has published reports that much of his story (arrests, life altering moments, etc.,) is false - that there is no evidence, no paper trail to back it up and, in some cases, there is clear evidence that Frey is lying.
CNN also reports about it here.
James Frey will be on Larry King Live tonight at 8 CST.
I won't lie. I loved this book. This book meant something to me. I wept reading this book. I couldn't put it down. I missed sleep because of this book - I stayed up to read it, I got up early to read it, I took it everywhere. I felt my heart pull and ache and bleed while reading this book. I felt my brain stretch and pull and grow and shift. I shook. I sobbed. I read it -and I'll read it again.
I feel a betrayed by this news, but to be honest with you, I'm not sure that 1) I'm surprised or 2) that it really matters to me. Yes, absolutely, it was smarmy of him to lie about his past (if indeed he did,) just to write a better selling book. Yes, it's reprehensible of him to have played on the emotions of so many vulnerable people to make a buck. I cannot and will not defend that.
What I will say, however, is that his story of addiction and recovery are true. Whether or not the details of them are true, the fact is that the man was a raging alcoholic and drug addict for years and he nearly died. He's sober now. Has been for 13 years. And no matter what lies you tell, you cannot take that away from him or from anyone else.
Addicts don't know the truth. They run from it, hide from it, ignore it. Eventually, there is no difference between what the truth actually is and what they want it to be in their heads. I should say that not all addicts are like that and even if they start that way, they can change. I don't want to blanket anyone with my statements. Most, however, spend years in denial. So do their families, their loved ones.
I love an alcoholic. He has been sober for 17 months - 17 amazing, wonderful, gut wrenching, challenging, horrific, trying, tumultuous, joyful, inspiring, infuriating, disgusting, earth shattering, life altering, beautiful, hopeful, delightful, confusing months. In those 17 months, I have learned a lot and changed my mind about a lot of things, but the one thing that has not and will not ever change is what life was like for the years prior to these last 17 months. We may all forget whether it was 24 or 26 beers, we might forget if it was 1:30 or 2:00 in the morning when the cop call came, we might embellish (accidentally or on purpose) the story of drinking the bar clean out of the preferred booze. What will never be forgotten, however, is the shame. The pain. The disgust. The self loathing. The Fury. Frey writes about The Fury and I can say for certain that it is real.
When I read Frey's words, it brought up issues that I had buried. Things that I figured I could ignore now that the alcoholic in my life is sober. The words that he wrote are words that I heard come out of the mouths of my addict. The stories of losing days are my story. The ache, the want, the need, the pain, the hate, the desperation. Those touched me. Those are my words.
Made up or not, they touched me. And isn't that what writing is all about?
Think about the books that have changed lives (for good and for bad.) Think about the books that have shaped our culture, our history, our personality as a nation, as a group. I can think of several books that have been categorized as such. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Catcher in the Rye, Catch-22, 1984, etc. While they may be based on some facts, at the end of the day, they are ALL FICTION. But, the effect is the same.
I feel betrayed by the latest news. I'm mostly disappointed. It will be yet another lie by another addict -something I am used to.
But regardless of what comes of this all, regardless of what is factual and what is fiction, the change in me is real.
My pieces are finally intact.
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