I love coffee and tea. And occasionally soda. I have smoked something or another off and on since I was 17 years old (minus the 4 1/2 years of pregnancy and breastfeeding.) Add to that that I'm nearly 30 and you get I have issues. My teeth are beautifully and naturally straight (no braces here,) but they are anything but white. This just won't do. It just won't do.
So, along with some of my lovely girlfriends, I'm giving the White Strips a shot. I know I know I know. Unbelievable, eh? You're supposed to use them for 30 minutes, twice a day, for 14 days. Okie dokie.
This morning was my first round. Let me tell you, those lovely little pictures on the box and on the commercials don't tell you that you'll be placing slime coated playdoh on your teeth, convincing it to stick there for 30 minutes, all the while spitting out copious amounts of the love child of slime and morning breath. UGH. I must have a deeper appreciation for professional boxers 'cause I have to say, their experience of using a mouth piece while getting the crap kicked out of them is probably as pleasant as the experience of using white strips.
30 minutes finally was up and I raced to the bathroom to take them off. This was another moment of intense grossitude. BUT -
they were whiter. If I'm lying, I'm dying, they were slightly whiter already after only one use!!! Now, of course, I kind of get all microscopic about these things (I can tell you if my hair grew a millimeter and if I've gained or lost a gram, etc.) but I'll be damned, they were whiter.
I followed up everything with an amazing tooth brushing session, some ACT rinse, the new kind that is supposed to strengthen weak spots and whatnot, and about 10 minutes of looking like a goon in the mirror going, "holy shit, they actually work."
It was rough, ya'll. But I can do it. I think I can do it for an hour a day for 2 weeks. Yeah, I can do it!!
Damned good thing 'cause my coffee and blueberry muffins are seducing me from across the room ....
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