One pill makes you larger, and one pill makes you small (the remix)

Americans are fat. According to the Weight-control Information Network (WIN,) a division of the National Institutes of Health, 129.6 million (64.5%) adults over the age of 20 are overweight. 61.3 million (30.5%) are obese. 15.3% of children (ages 6-11) and 15.5% of adolescents (12-19) are overweight. This blows me away. WHAT ARE WE DOING TO OURSELVES? WHAT ARE WE DOING TO OUR CHILDREN? If I hear one more person say, "Oh, my child isn't fat - he's just big boned," I'm gonna flip out. Yeah, he's got big bones - and he's got some big fat on those big bones! Get that bacon double cheeseburger out of his hand - it's bigger than his head! Ever hear of a damned carrot?

Don't get me wrong. I know that for some folks, it's entirely a medical issue. And oh, I know how easy it is to be one of the 129.6 million folks who are overweight. I was overweight for years. I love food. I LOVE FOOD. By the way, have I mentioned that I LOVE FOOD?

But I love myself more.

I've been dealing with weight issues my whole life. Seems that I've always been too fat, too thin, or pregnant. To be honest, I enjoyed the aspect of pregnancy that allowed my weight to balloon and no one batted an eye at it. When I reached, 160 pounds, however, it became an issue. At 5 foot 4 inches (on a good day,) I looked like a cube when I was 160 pounds. When I gave birth to my last child, I lost a bit of weight but not nearly what I would have liked. I thought, "Oh hell, I breastfeed my kids forever, it's normal and neccessary to keep some of the weight on." Then Stealth weaned. I lost a little more and thought, "Awesome!" But I couldn't break that 150 pound mark. Just couldn't. Until -

One night I was laying on the floor outside my boys' room (to scare away the monsters, you know,) and I thought, "Damn, I'm bored. I wonder what would happen if I did a sit up?" So I did one and guess what happened? NOTHING. Nothing happened. The world did not stop spinning, gravity did not suddenly reverse, my belly button didn't fall off. So I thought, "Hmm. I guess I'll do another one." So I did. And then I did another. And another. And then I moved my legs some. And then it occurred to me to do some every night. So I did. I decided to not eat the vat and half of ice cream that night. And I thought that maybe water instead of soda would be okay and if I had to have a soda, maybe one without so much sugar would work as well. The world kept on turning, I still was on the floor and not the ceiling and, yep, belly button still intact. But my pants didn't fit anymore. Hmmm. Long story short, I've lost about 35 pounds since Thanksgiving of 2004, the majority of it coming off in 2 months (February and March 2005.)

Everyone has asked me what I did to lose the weight. When I tell them the truth - I ate less and moved more - they look at me with disbelief and disgust. Everyone is looking for a magic answer, the magic pill, that makes them lose the weight. I don't have a magic pill for you (well, not one that will make you lose weight, anyhow.)

From CNN.com (Friday, June 10)
In a no-nonsense approach to weight loss, the American Heart Association's new diet book offers options for the weak. Can't give up pizza? Try eating two slices instead of your regular three. Craving ice cream? Try a sorbet.
"The intent on doing this was to try to get around the faddish diets," said Dr. Robert Eckel, president-elect of the American Heart Association and professor of medicine at the University of Colorado School of Medicine. "The theme is based on behavior, nutrition and physical activity."

SURPRISE! I guess all that we were taught in 8th grade health class is true. What's true today is the same that's been true forever and will continue to be true for the rest of time. There's no secret - eat from your brain, not from your heart. Move your body. The cold hard fact is that it took us all time to get to the weight we are, it will take time to get to weight we want to be. It's hard work, but it can be fun, (Go ahead, tell me that giving away all your fat clothes isn't a hoot!) It takes determination. It takes effort. But I'm worth it - and so are you.

You're more than welcome to come and sit on my floor and see if you, too, can do a sit up without chaging the rotation of the Earth. I'm sure there are more monsters to scare away -they're probably hiding out with the White Rabbit.

New note from Mamakohl:
I'm sure there are folks out there who will rupture a blood vessel in their foreheads reading this post. I hope you have insurance because if this pisses you off, just wait - you have no idea what might come flying out of my mouth / fingertips at any moment.

Seriously, if you have issues with it, seems to me that it's your problem and not mine. I think it would be wiser use of your time to examine why you have such issues than it would be for you to use the time to email me your frustrations. I've got enough of my own, thank you very much.