12 Step Cha Cha

Someone I love is an alcoholic. Actually, someone I love is a recovering alcoholic with a week shy of 9 months of sobriety. This amazes and thrills me beyond anything you can even imagine. I don't know that I've ever felt more pride in someone. The change is mind blowing and, while I still have days that suck out loud, nothing in life nearly as horrid as it once was.

But the journey - crap on a cracker, the journey! It's torturous. You gotta get help. In a dyad affected by alcoholism, someone has got to have some help. So, when I had reached my own rock bottom, I started going to Al-Anon. I guess I just got lucky and stumbled into the right meeting, because I felt *immediate* ease. There was something so comforting about being in a room of people who didn't think you were crazy (well, okay, I guess we all KNEW that we were crazy, but that's another post,) who understood what was going on with you because they, too, had lived it.

Lots of folks are surprised to hear that members of Al-Anon also practice the famous "12 steps." To use the correct lingo, we "work the steps." It's all the same - our lives are out of control, we have no control over alcohol, we need help, etc.

It's hard for me to wrap my mind around some of the language that is used (GOD, prayer, helpless,) but you know, it's really REALLY good stuff. It works for damned near anything and everything. I have family members or friends that drive me insane? I find myself being compelled to make bad choices? Well, I can twelve step myself into sanity. Don't knock it until you've tried it - and I hope to Elvis you never have to try it.

But this language, the 12 steps, the meetings. It's a bit to overcome. The slogans are a bit easier to come by and to swallow. "One day at a time." "Easy does it." "Let go and let God."

See, that last one makes my teeth itch. Let go and let God. yeah, right. What??? But, you know, it's easier to swallow if you can say, "Let go and Let Elvis." Or "Let go and let Mother Nature." Or "Let go and Let Mastercard." Basically, let it go - you can't do it on your own, let something else help you out. "You didn't cause it, you cannot control it, you cannot cure it." Amen.

I actually have some slogans of my own.

"In the end, it will be okay. If it's not okay, it's not the end."

"Life is like a hair dryer - sometimes it's hot, sometimes it's not, and sometimes it just blows you away."

"When you've reached the end of your rope - hang on. You might not make it, but you'll have buff arms."

"Will this really matter in 5 years?"

"Never forget in the dark what you learned in the light."

"That which does not kill us makes us stronger - and it's good to have an inner badass."

"There's nothing in life that a little sushi, amazing girlfriends, and a good lip gloss can't ease - at least for a bit."

"Throw it in the Fuck-It-Bucket"

"I'm braver than I realize."

"It's all a part of the plan - wait, where the hell did I put that plan?"

"There's a story behind every decision."

"I have the strength of a million women inside me and they all have PMS."


Feel free to use my slogans if you'd like. Make up some of your own! And, if you need a good support group, I'll be at Osaka. I'll be the one surrounded by women, behind a mound of sushi, with the gorgeous pink shiny lips.

CHA CHA CHA!