that's better

Last night I just kind of melted down.  I mowed the lawn, had my stiff drink, etc. 

And then I sat down and poured my heart out to B, told him that I NEEDED to have my family with me.  It took a long time but it finally got through to him and now we are all going to KS for the funeral tomorrow!!  

We'll pack up and go get my Mom's portable dvd player so the boys can watch movies, B will be with me in my time of grief, and dammit, I can show my relatives that my family can unite in a time of crisis and support one another.

I feel soooooooooo much relief and support.  And cool, road trip, eh?