On me

I've thought of several things I wanted to blog about over the last several days. Just random things that come to mind to me throughout my daily activities (have you ever noticed how many I's there are in ACTIVITIES??) But, of course, these thoughts only happen to occur when I'm sitting on the toilet, walking the dog, in the shower, after sex, etc. and those times are not exactly conducive to blogging. Guess that's why they have audio blogger or something about phoning in your blogs. But let me tell you something --- you think you get some bullshit on my blog now ... imagine if I actually phoned the crap in!!! Yeah --- I'm not going there. But, alas, my consideration of your interest level has left me in the land of What The Fuck Was I Gonna Write About? Population: 1.





James Brown kicks ass. The end. Loves me some King of Soul. I mean, how can you not love a man who has a live album called Sex Machine???

It's Friday afternoon at 3:52. I have no idea when this will actually post. Truth be told, I started it a couple of days ago. Gotta love saving your drafts.

In the name of full disclosure, I've had a drink or two. I'm not sure I want to get ripped today --- it's more like I'm drinking to soothe the savage beast instead of drinking to burn the house down. It's a blues day, a soy candle and shades drawn, a slow sipping, endless cup of bourbon day, a feel the music so intently you punch the pillow in emphasis kind of day. A slow dance in the middle of cooking dinner, a cry it out silently in the arms of someone you trust, a paint the sky deep purple kind of day. Bottoms up.

Today I accompanied my mother to the settlement hearing for her divorce. I'll not divulge any details here as it is not my story to tell, but suffice it to say that she walked out of the courthouse not one step closer to the end than she was when she woke this morning. Such a disappointment. So, we went to W's to eat lunch and knock back a couple of drinks, which got comp'd! Thank Elvis something went right today. Bottoms up.

The boys went to my in-laws today for the first time since my FIL decided to show what a 3 year old he is. Let me just say this - neither B nor I were at all easy about this, but I needed childcare so I could go to court with my Mom, and we didn't really have any other choice. I called several times to check out the situation there --- all seems to be well and my FIL is behaving nicely and walking on eggshells, as is appropriate. B is picking them up in 30 minutes. Time shall tell. Bottoms up.

In the last week, I have colored my hair and done something funky to my eyebrows. The hair color is a very slight lightening (which, of course, will probably result in a full out bleaching by end of summer 'cause I'm strange like that,) and my eyebrows have changed shape for the first time since I was 16 years old. Yes, friends and neighbors, you read that correctly - I've been sporting the same brow do for 15 years. The other day, I was sitting around watching Days of Our Lives as my kids had their movie time and thought, "Why the hell not?" So I grabbed my tweezers and a hand mirror and went to town. Check out before and after --- knowing full well that the hair color change is not showing up well in pictures. Check out before and after (if you cannot tell, 1) get your eyes checked, 2) the one with the dark hair and jean jacket is BEFORE, the other one is AFTER.) There is another After photo that might be better, but you know, I'm drinking and cannot tell. So we make due with the following photos:

I love Summer tv programming. Seriously. Hells Kitchen, Last Comic Standing, America's Got Talent are about the most sublime choices in programming during the hot, summer (read: drunk off your asses) months. In the Summer, I don't want to be mentally challenged. At. All. Nope, I like the mental peanut butter, brain toothpaste programming that networks plan on, 'cause frankly, I'm tired of being so damned smart all the time. Bottoms up.

I love James Brown, I really do, but man, he cannot do For Once in My Life like Frank Sinatra. Sorry, James. Cannot be done.

My friend, SS, is having a baby in a few months in New Zealand. I'm thrilled about her having another child, but am sad that I won't be with her while she's bringing her first son into the world. I just kept thinking that I needed to somehow honor this little one's coming into the world, so I'm doing a pro-bono birth here in my town in the name of her soon to be born son. SS, I hope you can feel the love. Love you, Mama. Bottoms up.

And having said all of that, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, I'm NOT on call at the moment. Soooo, Bottoms up.

So, I've been keeping in touch with my ex-husband. I must say, it's highly entertaining. I have forgotten what a hoot he is --- when you're not legally, emotionally, physically, mentally, practically responsible for him, that is. Now that I can watch his insanity from a very safe distance, it cracks me up. I remember the good parts of him, and I'm so glad to be able to do so. He's a really good boy -- just not a good man. But lord almighty, if there were an award for unlikely arrests, my ex-husband would not only have several of those awards, he would be the name sake for such awards. That cat is sooooooooooo messed up, I'm gonna start calling him Murphy. Thank you, Elvis, that I am no longer married to the fool, but thank you for allowing me to be able to step back and say, "Holy crap, that guy is a walking sitcom." A sitcom that I'd love to watch but will never ever star in again. Bottoms up.

Dinner needs to be made. My glass is empty.

Bottoms up.