Earlier this week I commented to some of my girlfriends about how wonderful my marriage is and how in love I am with my husband.  Sweet, eh? 

 

Until today. 

Today I plotted to hang him up by his testicles and beat him like a pinata.

 

It matters not why we were fighting.  Mostly, we just felt like blowing off some steam.  We've been together 7 years and very rarely fight anymore (those early days, gah, horrible!)  When it happens, though, it's not fun.

 

The problem with us is that we can both fight like champions, we can both hold grudges and stay pissed and find more reasons to be irate and just draw. it. out. for. ever.  We have stamina and an overwhelming amount of self righteous indignant flair.  If we ever really wanted to, we could dissect each other and reduce each other to quivering heap of emotional shards in 10 words or less.

 

Thank Elvis on Velvet that we don't ever want to do that.

 

Last night, B and I had a very long, very honest, very intense, very open, and very peaceful discussion about a tremendously difficult topic.  It was emotionally charged and, if we hadn't spent so much time to improve our communication skills, it could have turned into a vicious battle of words - but it didn't.  We both expressed ourselves and both felt heard and validated.  It was terrific, it was needed, it was hard.  And, it probably contributed to today's Bitchfest 2006 'cause once that stuff is out there, you cannot take it back.  You cannot un-ring the bell, and those emotions have to go somewhere.  Last night, those emotions wanted to kick in his teeth, but I didn't do that.  Today, I just wondered what would come pouring out if I whacked him with a bat.  Probably not candy, eh?

 

After a few hours of this childishness, I felt it pass and so did he.  It was strange, almost like someone had just left the room.  I looked at him and he looked at me and for the first time all day, we smiled at each other and just started talking about business plans and getting excited about some of the new things I'm designing and creating and new methods that I've discovered increase my productivity and reduce the amount of 4 letter words that spew from my mouth while working.  We planned what we're going to do on our night off this week.  We talked about dinner and what kind of trouble he and the kidlets are gonna get into on their weekly Daddy and Sons trip to the hardware store.  It was over, just as suddenly as it began.

 

We don't want to hurt each other.  We don't want to fight.  We just want to be happy and we both know that being happy is often times better than being right.  After all, if you want to beat the shit out of the love of your life, it's not very "right," now is it?  So we let it go, out into the cosmos, out into the black hole of marital stress.  I hope it stays gone for a long time.