Oh, you're serious!

We have no children tonight.  This means that Mama wants to go OUT.  Oh hells yes, out. I spend so much of my time looking at these same walls (granted, I love these walls,I own these walls, I am lucky to have these walls, but jeezus, gimme some different freaking walls once in awhile.)  I wanna go out.

 

B, however, wants to stay in.

 

Again.

 

So we have the phone call.  You know the one:

 

I told him that he was welcome to stay home if he wants to, but I'm going out.  That I would go with him or find someone else to go out with, but I'm going out.  I would prefer it to be him.  But I'm going out with or without him.  I'm not trying to control his time, but I'm telling him honestly what I'm going to do with mine.  Goodbye. Click.

 

Fast forward 5 minutes.

 

Hi Honey.  We can go out.  I just don't want to be out all night and I want to come home first before we go back out.  So you do what you want to do and I'll either meet you at home or at W's.

 

Great, B, looking forward to it.  I have some shopping to do and I might meet a friend, but I'll see you when we see each other.  Sounds like a great plan.

 

Silence.

 

Um, okay, baby.  Okay.  Well, I'm sure I'll be ready to go back out after you get done shopping so, think about what you want to do tonight and we'll do it together.

 

Crap on a cracker, why don't guys realize earlier on that we're gonna do what we're gonna do?  It would save so much freaking time.  I guess, in their eyes, time is better off spent with their chin down on the floor and their eyes all bugged out while making that all so sexy "Whaaaaaaaaaaaa?????????????" sound.

 

Thank you, Elvis, for giving me ovaries and a shred of common sense.